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Tuesday, April 15, 2008

To spank or not to spank?

This Q always plays in my head. I dont believe in spanking, but I just dont know how NOT to do it! My parents did spank me was I was little, believing that was the right way to discipline a kid. Of course, kids those days (in the 70s-80s) were more obidient than kids now. Of course those time, I feared the little longish cane that my mom used to call "gula-gula padas" (spicy sweets??? hahaha!) hanging on the wall. Padas baitu!!.

This post is for me to do research the pros & cons of spanking, whether it works/doesnt work. Here's an article I found online, for my further research. Please do share your thoughts/experience. I am looking forward for them! Will write more soon.

Here are 10 reasons why parents should not spank:

1. Spanking stops misbehavior momentarily. The bad behavior usually resumes because the child doesn't know how to act differently.

2. Spanking teaches the child not how to act right, but how not to get caught when the parent is around. He becomes a champion in manipulation.

3. The child is much more likely to remember the punishment than why he was punished. He behaves out of fear instead of because he wants to act right.

4. It teaches that hitting solves problems. Kids must learn acceptable, nonviolent alternatives to solve problems.

5. Spanking teaches children to behave through "external control" (the punishment). It does not teach kids self-control -- or "internal control."

6. Spanking sends a huge mixed message: "It's fine for adults to hit, but not kids."

7. Spanking squelches moral growth. It stops kids from misbehaving because they want to avoid punishment (the lowest level of moral development), not because they want to do what is right.

8. It squelches empathy. Empathy -- being considerate to another's needs and feelings -- is the cornerstone of moral growth. Studies find that children's empathy is diminished when their parents control their kids through anger.

9. Spanking exposes children to violence. Learning comes through example. Spanking is an aggressive act, showing children their parents acting in an out-of-control manner.

10. No new is behavior is learned from spanking. Spanking teaches not how to behave right, but how to shout, hit, manipulate, and control others through fear. It also fails to teach a critical discipline lesson: "So why should I behave?"

Another reading link so I dont forget!

1 comment:

hannie said...

wow.. thanks for reminding again about the bad of spanking. I have to remind myself again not to do that. Other methods that I tried was "time-out" which work for Cal but not Mer as he just can't stand there quietly. Another one is the reward sistem for being good. But just like you, sometimes I don't know how not to spank also.. :o(

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