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Saturday, April 19, 2008

Love affair

Imagine, your other half is having an affair.. You would be torn in between, hurt, cheated etc... like its the end of the world!!!

I wonder if that is what lil C is feeling.. okay, maybe that was an exagerration.. but I think it is somewhere close! I was reading an article about dealing with jealous kids... It prompt me to observe lil C's behaviour for the past 2 weeks.

The first week of Baby C's arrival, lil C was quite difficult that his unacceptable behaviour drove us mad! He demanded instant attention like never before, especially when I was feeding baby. He would cry, wail for no reason (or I thought so). Both dh & myself reminded ourself earlier that such behavioural change would occur, but we didnt realised and werent prepared of the challenges that lies ahead. Both mentally exhausted (lame excuses), we werent sure how to handle lil C, instead took the easy way out by scolding and spanking the poor boy every couple of hours a day.

Last Sunday's incident took its toll. Lil C accidently hit Baby's head, I scolded him (tho I knew it was an accident). Knowing that by doing so he'd get attention from me.. he did it again, and this time I was extremely furious and spanked his hand. Again, he repeated his action, hit baby for the 3rd time.. I was boiling mad, didnt know what to do next! Luckily my mom took Baby away and lil C cried and wailed, wanted me to hug him tightly by pulling my hands to his waist. I was lost... and realised that spanking him wasnt the best solution! hmmph! We also know that he doesnt resent his bro, but he would throw tantrum when we dont pay attention to him. Something positive needs to be done!

DH & myself had a looong conversation that night... about lil C and his change of behaviour.. Both of us agreed that we didnt respond to lil C's behaviour smart enough, instead we reacted to them negatively. We werent listening to his cries.. He needs reassurance that with baby around, doesnt mean that we dont love him anymore. We promised that we TRY not to spank, control our temper by LESS scolding.. We make sure that we include lil C in any activity with baby, also make sure that he feels that he is always special to us and not feeling leftout.

With my mom is around, she helps taking care of baby and that give me time to spend with lil C. DH made an effort to come home from work earlier and spend time with lil C by bringing him to the Park, even started his computer regime etc. The result, in week two, lil C has been better & happier kid. He always wanted his bro to be close to him, but he still doesnt understand that baby C is still small and fragile to play lil C's rough game... We still have to keep an eye 24/7, but we try our best not to react immediately to his action. We talk and explain to him, and most of the time, diverting his attention to other things. Things are getting better, dh has been very supportive too! Keeping our fingers cross!!

Keeping him busy with his Elmo & bob the builder games

To include activity with baby; my mom & lil C showing the RBW cards to baby

Playing with his new scooter in the Taman Rimba with PaPa



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