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Monday, May 04, 2009

Life is very short ~ Thank You Lord, for the beautiful day

Recent sunday morning, as usual, we were busy preparing ourselves and the kids for Sunday Mass. I bent down to lift baby C from the floor to change him. Suddenly I felt a sharp pain pinning on my lower back. I immediately let go of baby C and collapsed. Poor boy, luckily he fell on one of the big pillows. I cried for DH who saw what happened. I was lying with my chest on the floor, but I couldnt and didnt dare to move because my back really hurt. He asked if I could wiggle my toes. I could. There wasnt any bruises on my back either. He then placed a hot pack on my back as a temporary relief until I was comfortable to lie on my back.

The thoughts back then when I collapsed was terrifying! Flashes of memories/images came to me, the "what ifs" questions attacked my brain... "What if I cant walk anymore?""What if I die at this point of time?".. I know they sounded silly, but it was quite scarry at that time! My mind was occupied about "WHo's going to take care of the kids if I get sick?" "what's going to happen to them if I die / paralysed". In the background, I could hear baby Cameron was crying for me, he definitely knew something happened because I was not responding to his cry, I couldnt turned my head to look at him either. I felt so helpless. Koko Christian was stunned and worried that he just sat quietly next to me, he didnt know what to do, but to stay next to me. During the time when DH was trying to comfort me & the kids, I was talking to God, to help me go through this pain. I asked him to give me strength and more time so that I can spend quality time with them. Seriously, I told Him that I dont mind dying early, but please let me spend enough time growing up with my boys. 

Like once an inspiring friend, Wai Leng said,"Live NOW and make life worth living. For life is too short to be miserable, and too precious to be wasting away in useless pursuits".

Thank God it was only muscle pulled. I went for an alternative treatment (cupping suction) for my back and was told by the chinese doctor that it happened because my body was too tired and lack of rest. Another thing that I found out was that after the suction, one's body will have red/blackish mark but mine didnt. The doctor explained that because I could be anaemic (which is true). I never go for such alternative treatment, this was my first experience as MIL brought me there. I was bed-ridden for the whole day that Sunday. My back still hurts that it limits my movement, I walk like a robot at the moment. Minimising carrying things and especially baby C. Missing them already, even they are next to me!

p/s Most of the night, before we go to sleep (and before the read books ritual), we always have a short simple prayer lead by lil C which goes like this: "Thank You God for the beautiful day, Thank you God for the beautiful night. Please protect Mama, Papa, Koko, Baby, KungKung, Pohpoh, Nenek, Ingkung and Suksuk". A short prayer but meant well from a four year old kid.

p/s2 and I thank you Lord for everyday.


Sandra@miabambina said...

aRE YOU OK NOW? I read your status at twitter.
oh muscle sprain can be bad! specially for moms!

Live NOW and make life worth living. For life is too short to be miserable, and too precious to be wasting away in useless pursuits".That is just so true and very true.
I always try to put that in mind. Thus with the positive attitude . Complaint less and be more grateful and enjoy live.
Specially with our children.
And that's why motivate me lately to take care of my body more. Not just for appearance reason but more to health reason ( better stamina, specially when we get older, so we still can be active for our kids and so on)
Will try to blog about this.

Mean while... take care!!! see u around!!

Deana E said...

hey,i was at cmi last sunday. saw susan.try your best to take time to rest.may be ask your mil to baby sit baby c for a while and you have your rest. I know taking care of two kids is tough, even one pun tough for me, that is why sometimes i take leave to help my maid look after sona. i think something similar happened to my friend few years back and she was really hurting and just can't move for few days. that is scary. yes, life is too short..hope you are feeling better now.

Aunty J said...

Oh dear...I just read your posting...hope you're feeling better and everything will be ok soon...I understand it is very tiring especially when you are fulltime mommy to two active boys...even with Ethan alone I really get burn out at times...you need a break and good rest too..perhaps you need to consider a helper to help you around with the kids....try not to over stress your body...take good care dearie...

linda said...

Hi cousin Celine,

Sorry to hear about that. Well, I had a couple episodes of such incident and mine wasn't muscle pulled. Its rather bad and I couldn't walk for days even though I could move my legs. All those years I thought it was a muscle pulled or spasm went down the drain after I went for MRI.
Anyway, you shouldn't carry anything that weigh 5kg or more for couple of weeks, its for your back sake. I know its hard not be able to carry baby c but its an orthopedic advices to every back pain sufferer even though its just a muscle pulled or spasm.

p/s: And if you do have tingling feeling on your leg, do take caution.

bennyliew.com said...

get well soon darlen

Leeyen said...

hope u are better now. for the sake of children, we really need to take good care of ourselves first!

Joan D'Arcy said...

Dear all, thanks for your concern. I agree, we need to take care of ourself in order to take care of others :) Feeling so much better now, ache is still there but better compared to couple of days ago..

I think need to continue my yoga/swimming routine to keep fit again :) Age is definitely catching up.. To all of you, take care

unstoppable said...


Had not been to your blog for sometime now.

But reading this piece tells me that I must keep in touch with you regularly!

Hope you get well and take care .......


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