Life is very short ~ Thank You Lord, for the beautiful day

Recent sunday morning, as usual, we were busy preparing ourselves and the kids for Sunday Mass. I bent down to lift baby C from the floor to change him. Suddenly I felt a sharp pain pinning on my lower back. I immediately let go of baby C and collapsed. Poor boy, luckily he fell on one of the big pillows. I cried for DH who saw what happened. I was lying with my chest on the floor, but I couldnt and didnt dare to move because my back really hurt. He asked if I could wiggle my toes. I could. There wasnt any bruises on my back either. He then placed a hot pack on my back as a temporary relief until I was comfortable to lie on my back.

The thoughts back then when I collapsed was terrifying! Flashes of memories/images came to me, the "what ifs" questions attacked my brain... "What if I cant walk anymore?""What if I die at this point of time?".. I know they sounded silly, but it was quite scarry at that time! My mind was occupied about "WHo's going to take care of the kids if I get sick?" "what's going to happen to them if I die / paralysed". In the background, I could hear baby Cameron was crying for me, he definitely knew something happened because I was not responding to his cry, I couldnt turned my head to look at him either. I felt so helpless. Koko Christian was stunned and worried that he just sat quietly next to me, he didnt know what to do, but to stay next to me. During the time when DH was trying to comfort me & the kids, I was talking to God, to help me go through this pain. I asked him to give me strength and more time so that I can spend quality time with them. Seriously, I told Him that I dont mind dying early, but please let me spend enough time growing up with my boys. 

Like once an inspiring friend, Wai Leng said,"Live NOW and make life worth living. For life is too short to be miserable, and too precious to be wasting away in useless pursuits".

Thank God it was only muscle pulled. I went for an alternative treatment (cupping suction) for my back and was told by the chinese doctor that it happened because my body was too tired and lack of rest. Another thing that I found out was that after the suction, one's body will have red/blackish mark but mine didnt. The doctor explained that because I could be anaemic (which is true). I never go for such alternative treatment, this was my first experience as MIL brought me there. I was bed-ridden for the whole day that Sunday. My back still hurts that it limits my movement, I walk like a robot at the moment. Minimising carrying things and especially baby C. Missing them already, even they are next to me!

p/s Most of the night, before we go to sleep (and before the read books ritual), we always have a short simple prayer lead by lil C which goes like this: "Thank You God for the beautiful day, Thank you God for the beautiful night. Please protect Mama, Papa, Koko, Baby, KungKung, Pohpoh, Nenek, Ingkung and Suksuk". A short prayer but meant well from a four year old kid.

p/s2 and I thank you Lord for everyday.